Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
