Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
