Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
