I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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