Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
