so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My penis needs a shock collar
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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