Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
