My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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