1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize