yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
