I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize