she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
