The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
