I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
