her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
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