omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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