i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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