Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
