Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Well apparently he's into motor boating.

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(760): View more from California

she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic

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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...

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(707): View more from California

Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.

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(917): View more from New York City

idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now

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(210): View more from Texas

last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.

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