It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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