It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
