Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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