I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
