I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
