why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize