Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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