More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
