Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
