We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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