Acid is not a monday night drug
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
