sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize