Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
