If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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