she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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