Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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