i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize