four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
