When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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