He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
