so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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