i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
