you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
