Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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