What a fucking waste of an outfit
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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