i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
