i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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