My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nobody cheats on THIS.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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