Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
