He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
