what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
