In the future we'll all be gay
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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