so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
