she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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