dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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