Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
