When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
