you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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