It was confusing and full of hummus
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
