youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
