Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Randomize
