go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
