Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
