she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
