Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
