So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
