Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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