its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
