i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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